Welcome to the Wednesday League Day 2019 Season

May 8, 2019 | Posted by Jay Pembleton

Get Your Wife to Hate The Game You Love...

     Touting the new property’s unique and imaginative design, representatives announced Monday the opening of The Ordeal Golf & Country Club, a new course specifically designed for full-scale family meltdowns.

     Situated in northern Ontario, right in the heart of Black Fly country, the 350-acre property reportedly incorporates many of the most aggravating elements of golf and expands them into a creative and fully immersive world of irritation, which is said to include 6-hour rounds and a convoluted layout that ensures most shots are either blind or severely uphill.  According to the club GM, Shank Bartlett, Ordeal’s specialized combination of features will ensure a slowly building resentment among female visitors, eventually resulting in a dramatic public outburst followed by a silent walk back to the car.

     “We’ve considered every detail to ensure couples have the heated argument of a lifetime,” said Bartlett, explaining that the club is divided into three distinct nines named Fatigue, Hunger and Boredom. “Whether it’s the sheer distance between holes or the unspecified bathroom locations, every aspect of the experience is guaranteed to ratchet up the tension until your wife loses all emotional self-control and screams that she should never have tried the game in the first place.”

     According to Bartlett, considerable effort was devoted to crafting the course’s overall aesthetic, which emphasizes open, unshaded stretches of dry, brown turf without any benches for resting.  Additionally, no water is provided anywhere on the grounds and there are absolutely no power carts or rickshaws.  Bartlett went on to add that access to the tee is based on a ‘first come, first served’ model giving irritable newbies the opportunity to squabble over who’s up next.

     One of Ordeal’s most talked-about features is that it’s almost always under construction making conversation with your loved one virtually impossible.  Club officials explained that the unnecessary work is intended to sow seeds of resentment, contributing to the eventual fiery altercation they expect to boil over at the Half-Way House which has no seating and sells nothing but over-cooked Bratwurst and $15 cans of warm beer.

     “We provide the poorly thought out environment, and you do the rest — whether you opt to loudly belittle her poor play, criticize her club selection or coach her on every shot, Ordeal G & C C is perfect for guys who want to turn their wives off the game forever,” said Bartlett, raising his voice over the punk, hip-hop and heavy metal music that blares on a continuous loop from loudspeakers throughout the entire property.  

     Club officials noted that Ordeal also features ridiculously expensive lessons, a ‘smoke anywhere’ policy with respect to cigars and a Pro Shop that specializes in over-priced clothing tailored exclusively to men.  “We want your spouse to have a one-of-a-kind experience while you’re here, which is why our all-male staff will be on hand to ignore their needs while wishing them ‘a great day on the links,’” said Bartlett, referring to the greeting that will begin to sound more and more like a taunt as the afternoon wears on.

 

Play well,

 

Jay



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This Week's Hi-Lights...


Low Team

1st

The Ediots


2nd

Cracks Hacks


Low Gross

T1

Mitch Despinic

Chuck Thompson


Low Net

1st

William Martin


T2

Don Reid

John DeCorso

Tom Plunkett

Steve Johnson

Murray VanWart





Special Prizes
Name Payout Reason
Chuck Thompson $20 1st Low Gross
Mitch Despinic $20 1st Low Gross
William Martin $23 1st Low Net
Steve Johnson $15 2nd Low Net
Murray VanWart $15 2nd Low Net
Tom Plunkett $15 2nd Low Net
Don Reid $15 2nd Low Net
John DeCorso $15 2nd Low Net
Kerry Quail $15 3rd Low Gross
Randy Doucette $15 3rd Low Gross
Ron Garton $15 3rd Low Gross
Ted Nelligan $15 3rd Low Gross
Don Maltby $13 7th Low Net
Ron Moore $10 8th Low Net
Mario Martini $10 8th Low Net
James Clavel $10 8th Low Net
Alan Arneill $10 8th Low Net
Greg Marousis $190 Beat the Pro
Brian Bishenden $15 Closest to Pin #4
Chris Bell $15 Closest to Pin #6
Ed Lowery $13 Other Team Winners
Mark Moore $13 Other Team Winners
Frank Ingratta $13 Other Team Winners
Paul Garton $13 Other Team Winners
Don Reid $16 Team Top Shooters
William Martin $16 Team Top Shooters
Ron Garton $16 Team Top Shooters
Don Maltby $16 Team Top Shooters
Ron Moore $16 Team Top Shooters
Weather on course
9℃ / Partly cloudy
Full Forcast

Last Players Score Entered 61 days 7 hours ago




Money List
Pos. Name Winnings
1 Greg Marousis $369
2 Devan Jobb $198
3 Lucas DeCorso $171
4 Gary Clairman $147
5 Doug Blair $140
T6 Ron Wiseman $139
T6 Mark Neil $139
8 Mick Driver $136
9 Paolo Sibblin $135
10 Ron Garton $131
11 Matt Rattray $128
T12 Chris Schuurmans $122
T12 Craig Walker $122
14 Dan Champagne $115
15 Colin Church $112
T16 Ned Gvoich $110
T16 Randy Doucette $110
18 Lori Bishenden $108
19 Bob Cracknell $106
20 Ed Lowery $105
21 Harold Campbell $102
22 Terry Churchill $100
23 Ted Nelligan $98
24 Will Course $95
T25 Alastair McCluskey $92
T25 Jeff Graham $92
T25 Larry Kich $92
28 Dan Zuwala $91
29 Stuart Riddell $89
30 Paul Garton $88
31 Chuck Thompson $86
32 Don Maltby $84
33 Rory Fox $83
T34 Derek Brown $82
T34 Ken LaChapelle $82
36 Louise Churchill $80
37 Pete Gair $75
T38 Doug Blain $74
T38 John Gwinn $74
40 Ralph Shaw $73
T41 Kevin Dickson $72
T41 Tony Crane $72
43 Mark Olender $71
44 Bob Tummon $70
T45 Doug Neath $69
T45 Brian Bishenden $69
47 Ron Moore $66
T48 Brian Wilson $65
T48 Jan Rimmer $65
T48 Dave Gurr $65
T48 Tony Andrade $65
52 John DeCorso $64
53 Marie Cracknell $63
T54 Matt Chate $62
T54 Audrey Rae $62
T54 Ken Holloway $62
T54 Sheik Bacchus $62
T54 Tomasz Onik $62
T59 Joe Hamley $61
T59 Tom Krouskie $61
T61 Mario Castellan $60
T61 Mark Moore $60
T63 Liam McKay $59
T63 Greg Clark $59
65 Rod Stork $58
T66 Don Canhoto $57
T66 Ken Chaisson $57
T68 David DeCorso $56
T68 Fab Piovesan $56
70 Tom Plunkett $55
71 William Martin $54
72 Kerry Quail $53
T73 Matt Onik $52
T73 Isaac Reimer $52
T75 Joanne Shaw $50
T75 Simon Howe $50
77 Joel Willis $49
78 Brenda Fudge $46
T79 David Lyver $45
T79 Jason Sewell $45
81 Rick Walker $44
T82 Don Reid $41
T82 Pat McCann $41
T84 Chris Bell $40
T84 Bill Dunville $40
86 Ian Nicol $38
T87 Frank Ingratta $37
T87 Mitch Despinic $37
T89 Fred Gottmers $35
T89 Shane Handy $35
T89 Alan Arneill $35
T89 Mary Pat Garton $35
T89 Len Haslam $35
94 Hugh Martin $34
T95 Don Rae $30
T95 Bill Greenwood $30
T95 Ted DeCorso $30
98 Robert Scouller $29
T99 Steve Johnson $27
T99 Steve Robinson $27
101 Dave Ralph $26
T102 Murray VanWart $25
T102 Michael Vincent $25
T102 Wayne Harloff $25
T105 Ian McGinty $23
T105 Brian Welsh $23
T105 Howie Evans $23
108 Jordy MacPherson $22
T109 Dave Betik $20
T109 Erik Hardy $20
T109 Paul Azzopardi $20
T109 Rick Rice $20
T109 James Clavel $20
T109 Fred Duimstra $20
T115 Jeff Kawakami $15
T115 Chris Hayes $15
T117 Jo Rider $10
T117 Mike Farley $10
T117 Hugh Ferguson $10
T117 Mario Martini $10
T117 Spencer Steinbach $10
Total Payout $8048